It's not a new analogy, but it's one that helped me a lot when my kids were really young, and it's one of which I still need to be reminded. I thought it might be helpful to spend a moment thinking about it now, as summer gets into full swing and many of our kids are around more.
At the beginning of a flight, when the flight attendants tell what to do in the event of an emergency, they advise that if the oxygen masks come down, you are to put on your own mask before helping anyone else.
The idea being, if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be in any shape to care for others.
The same principle applies to other areas in life. There are things we need to do to care for ourselves so we can be the best versions of ourselves. As parents, we would do anything we can to help our kids. Many of us fall into the trap of doing so at the expense of taking care of ourselves.
We may stay up too late to try to get things done and end up not getting enough rest, we may sacrifice exercise or much needed alone time, or we may not take the time to make ourselves nurishing food, and end up shoving leftover food off our kids' plates into our mouths.
We may feel guilty about getting ourselves this "oxygen," thinking we're doing so at the expense of our kids. But our kids need parents who take care of themselves, who get themselves that much needed oxygen first.
I say this as a recovering oxygen deprived mom. When my kids were babies, three of the four never took a bottle (all of them nursed for over a year). That means I never had more than a couple hours away, even if I did leave the babies with my husband, who unfortunately couldn't lactate. ;) If I'd been more conscious of what I needed, I would have made it more of a priority to get them to take a bottle so I could have left and taken time for myself without the anxiety of being the only food source for my babies. We also didn't find a babysitter willing to take four kids only four years apart until the twins were almost two years old. We finally found a lovely grad student who loved our kids and brought some oxygen to our marriage, but I'm sure if I'd made it a priority, we could have found a way to get some couple time sooner.
Today I invite you to take a moment to think about what getting oxygen looks like for you and how you can make it happen.
Are you getting enough rest? Do you move your body enough to feel healthy? Are you feeding yourself nourishing food? Are you allowing yourself some quiet time now and then? Do you get time with friends? Are you finding a creative outlet if you're someone who craves one?
Maybe you're not in a season of your life where you can do all these things, but often if we shift our priorities around a bit, we can do more of these things. I remember when the twins were about two months old and I was chronically sleep deprived, I was scrubbing the kitchen floor at 11pm, even though they'd surely wake for their next feeding in less than 45 minutes. I realized something had to change order for me to get the sleep I so desperately needed. Could I let go of my previous standard of clean? Could my husband and I share the household chores differently? Could we move our budget around and get a cleaner to come clean every couple weeks? We were fortunate enough to make the last option work.
How could you take better care of yourself? Is there someone you know with whom you could swap babysitting once a week and get some alone time? Could you find room in your budget for healthy meal services once a week? Could you do an exercise video on YouTube during nap time? Be creative. And remember, it's not selfish to take care of yourself. It's necessary, and it's also best for your kids.
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