First of all, let me explain the elephant in the room…elephant in the title… is that an expression?
My kids do a lot of work around the house. They empty the dishwasher, fold laundry, set the table, take out the garbage, recyclables, and compost, and do whatever else I need done. But, the title is also true. They’re allowance isn’t linked to the work they do. They’ll get their allowance whether or not they do their work (that’s not to say there aren’t other consequences if they don’t do it), and they have to do their work whether or not they want allowance.
We separate their work from their allowance. The Love and Logic philosophy is that kids should contribute to the household because we want them to feel like valuable members of the family, not because we pay them. (But that’ll be a future post. For now let’s talk about allowance.)
When I work with parents, many of them initially have a hard time just giving their kids money every week or month. I tell them to think about allowance as “practice money.” Just like many of us pay for our kids to have music lessons, I think of allowance as money I pay for my kids to have lessons in how to manage money. I’ve seen so many benefits that have come from my kids getting allowance.
Allowance helps kids learn to make good choices about money
When done correctly, getting practice with small amounts of money when kids are young will help kids learn to be better with their money when they’re older. It’s not easy to see our kids throw away months of allowance on something we know they’ll only be interested in for a day...or an hour, but if we let them make the mistake (and if we respond with empathy and bite our tongues when we want to lecture), they’ll learn from the mistake and make better choices in the future.
Allowance prevents them from begging you to buy things
I love how quickly allowance stops begging. If my kids ask for something, I’ll say, “Sure! As long as you have enough money.” If they don’t have enough, and they really want it, they know they should save more. But, more often they realize they don’t really need (or want as much as they’d thought) what they’re asking for. I think it's a great lesson for kids (and many of us adults) to learn to distinguish what we really want from a passing want.
Allowance allows for a wider possibility of consequences
When kids have some spending money, there is the option of them using that money to replace something they have broken by being careless. With older kids, there’s also the possibility of having them pay someone you hired to do the chores they keep “forgetting” to do, like mowing the lawn.
Allowance gives kids more opportunities to be generous
It may seem counter intuitive that giving kids money would help them become more generous, but it’s happened in my family. My kids often add in their own money when school or church is collecting for a charity. They also buy each other gifts, sometimes “just because” gifts that they know each other want. I like that they have the means to do this.
Overall, I feel like the money I “spend” giving my kids these lessons and opportunities is definitely money well spent!
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